I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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