is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
