is your mom at the bar?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
