Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
