her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
