He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm both gender and math confused
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
