His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
