i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
