Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time

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  (601): woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time http://tfl.nu/qpy5
  Replies (15) Good night (945) Bad night (3936)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.

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  (651): Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad. http://tfl.nu/pphf
  Replies (16) Good night (8599) Bad night (1103)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

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  (978): I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to? http://tfl.nu/b64u
  Replies (21) Good night (4326) Bad night (822)
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  (310): View more from California

  Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.

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  (310): Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready. http://tfl.nu/0n0r
  Replies (16) Good night (7189) Bad night (840)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

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  (605): and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg. http://tfl.nu/8u14
  Replies (10) Good night (4008) Bad night (1063)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left

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  (614): Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left http://tfl.nu/4sdk
  Replies (5) Good night (797) Bad night (2425)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.

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  (815): I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes. http://tfl.nu/pp2q
  Replies (6) Good night (1879) Bad night (1234)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume

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  (248): I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume http://tfl.nu/d1bc
  Replies (4) Good night (951) Bad night (1068)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.

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  (917): I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over. http://tfl.nu/bs45
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (421)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed

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  (613): So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed http://tfl.nu/pqem
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (395)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.

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  (218): We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/ouo9
  Replies (4) Good night (1233) Bad night (371)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Happy you have kids and I don't day!

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  (262): Happy you have kids and I don't day! http://tfl.nu/yzfq
  Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (337)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel

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  (401): Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel http://tfl.nu/tmc2
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (297)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.

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  (501): We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead. http://tfl.nu/vg5a
  Replies (6) Good night (643) Bad night (319)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?

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  (206): I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You? http://tfl.nu/a8e7
  Replies (2) Good night (301) Bad night (221)

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