Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.

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  (248): Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too. http://tfl.nu/c23w
  Replies (9) Good night (2487) Bad night (883)
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  (650): View more from California

  dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning

  (805): View more from California

  1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.

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  (650): dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning (805): 1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992. http://tfl.nu/ljqj
  Replies (31) Good night (4756) Bad night (835)
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  (328): View more from

  im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

  (1-328): View more from

  anal.

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  (328): im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is? (1-328): anal. http://tfl.nu/bglg
  Replies (33) Good night (5875) Bad night (1522)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.

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  (732): I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them. http://tfl.nu/v4vg
  Replies (22) Good night (6754) Bad night (1272)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

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  (815): Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/xo78
  Replies (40) Good night (12672) Bad night (1464)
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  (714): View more from California

  I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

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  (714): I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's. http://tfl.nu/jhuh
  Replies (7) Good night (5311) Bad night (1090)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention

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  (845): Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention http://tfl.nu/alzz
  Replies (9) Good night (4297) Bad night (1310)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude

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  (631): I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude http://tfl.nu/oumf
  Replies (12) Good night (1739) Bad night (3513)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.

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  (360): No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gf5w
  Replies (11) Good night (3557) Bad night (941)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.

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  (715): I will also be strapping forties to the puppies. http://tfl.nu/upgh
  Replies (14) Good night (2299) Bad night (1527)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.

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  (917): But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting. http://tfl.nu/vtlx
  Replies (6) Good night (2016) Bad night (632)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.

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  (339): You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once. (781): I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/l29g
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (305)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.

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  (316): If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple. http://tfl.nu/506q
  Replies (0) Good night (558) Bad night (280)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?

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  (860): It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now? http://tfl.nu/w7no
  Replies (6) Good night (600) Bad night (379)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.

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  (207): She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head. http://tfl.nu/qg4m
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (274)

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