haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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