I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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