Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.

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  (706): Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day. http://tfl.nu/8doe
  Replies (17) Good night (7819) Bad night (669)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

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  (703): Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience. http://tfl.nu/jxin
  Replies (73) Good night (4380) Bad night (6454)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Church boner. Awkwardddd

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  (203): Church boner. Awkwardddd http://tfl.nu/s9a2
  Replies (43) Good night (2668) Bad night (5592)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

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  (816): She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years. http://tfl.nu/8lob
  Replies (19) Good night (1840) Bad night (5511)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.

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  (850): Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing. http://tfl.nu/n4ke
  Replies (18) Good night (4119) Bad night (1718)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?

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  (313): so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room? http://tfl.nu/p8ry
  Replies (6) Good night (848) Bad night (2806)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man

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  (512): When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man http://tfl.nu/fxmb
  Replies (32) Good night (7388) Bad night (983)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no

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  (620): If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no http://tfl.nu/7ldp
  Replies (8) Good night (2599) Bad night (967)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.

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  (870): It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis. http://tfl.nu/5xg0
  Replies (5) Good night (1949) Bad night (1256)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

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  (604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a
  Replies (7) Good night (1462) Bad night (456)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first

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  (312): Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first http://tfl.nu/6e2a
  Replies (3) Good night (925) Bad night (1055)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-

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  (910): before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_- http://tfl.nu/01p5
  Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (430)
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  (+47): View more from Norway

  You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me

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  (+47): You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me http://tfl.nu/d4vv
  Replies (5) Good night (1160) Bad night (323)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.

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  (602): I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came. http://tfl.nu/kbkx
  Replies (6) Good night (232) Bad night (826)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.

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  (954): I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller. http://tfl.nu/ozku
  Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (173)

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