I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?