So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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