you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
