Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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