whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
