We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
