I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
