Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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