I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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