Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
