Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
