Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
