im drinking this country out of the recession.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
