Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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