Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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