your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
