I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
