all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
