His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
