I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
