Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
