By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
