oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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