you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
