so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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