if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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