Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
