some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
