I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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