I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize