If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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