I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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