that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
