I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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