I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
