Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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