can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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