He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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