So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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