i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
