I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize