I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize