i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
