and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
