He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
