Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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