In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
