I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
