He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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