so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
