oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
