I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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