I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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